Gratitude Without Compromise: Standing for Truth in the Face of Human Favors ( Abdullah Cheng)
Dear brothers and sisters,
When we try to count the blessings and favors that have led to who we are today, it is impossible to claim that we have earned those benefits by ourselves. While we recognize that all favors are ultimately coming from Allah, we must also appreciate the fact that Allah’s blessings come in different ways, through different mediums, and especially certain people in our lives. Whenever we try to look at our own success, we can’t help but remember certain individuals who played a role in helping us succeed. Maybe someone who gave us opportunities when we were desperate, someone who supported us financially when we needed it, someone who guided us when we were lost. It’s part of our obligation to be thankful to these individuals regardless of where the source of the blessings came from, because our Prophet ﷺ told us in a Hadith:
لاَ يَشْكُرُ اللَّهَ مَنْ لاَ يَشْكُرُ النَّاسَ
“Whoever does not thank people has not thanked Allah.” [Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4811]
However, the problem that most of us fall into, is that we attribute our gratitude to these individuals more than we attribute to Allah. Not that we verbally say more ‘Thank you’ to these people, but we become loyal to them rather than being loyal to Allah. We feel that because these people have done favors to me, now if they have committed a mistake or transgressed against the Shari’ah, it would be very ungrateful of me to point out their mistake and criticize them. Or maybe since I am still receiving those benefits from these people, because my livelihood still depends on their support, if I correct their mistakes, I am afraid they will stop providing me those benefits.
And the mistake here is to believe that these people are the source of those benefits. Rather, it is Allah who’s the One who gave us the favor by using those people as the middle men to send His favors to us. As Allah mentions in the Qur’an:
وَمَا بِكُم مِّن نِّعْمَةٍۢ فَمِنَ ٱللَّهِ ۖ ثُمَّ إِذَا مَسَّكُمُ ٱلضُّرُّ فَإِلَيْهِ تَجْـَٔرُونَ
Whatever blessings you have are from Allah. Then whenever hardship touches you, to Him ˹alone˺ you cry ˹for help˺. [16:53]
When we are afraid that we would lose those benefits for speaking the truth, to worry that my salary depends on them, my food depends on them, my children’s education depends on them, but we forget that the Prophet ﷺ told us in the Hadith, that if the nations gathered together to benefit you, they could not benefit you unless Allah has decreed it for you. And if the nations gathered together to harm you, they could not harm you unless Allah has decreed it for you. [Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2516]
And what better example there is other than our Prophet ﷺ himself, when he was preaching Islam to the people of Quraysh in the early days, he couldn’t have done that in safety if it wasn’t because of the support of his uncle Abu Talib. The Quraysh hated his message so much, they tried to pressure Abu Talib and told him, that either he stops the Prophet ﷺ from preaching, or he should hand him over so that they can deal with him.
Therefore Abu Talib went to the Prophet ﷺ and told him about this offer, and emotionally blackmail the Prophet by asking him, please don’t put me in such a difficult position, give me a break and give yourself a break.
For the Prophet ﷺ, this is a very difficult situation, because his entire safety in Makkah depends on his uncle Abu Talib, and he is just like his own father, he has received countless of support from Abu Talib, and now he is coming to tell him to stop preaching the message of Islam. However, despite knowing the potential consequences of losing everything, the Prophet ﷺ replied with utmost firmness: “If they were to place the sun in my right hand and the moon in my left hand, I would not leave this call to Islam until Allah has given it victory, or I die in the process.”
Even if the Quraysh offer him to become their king, or to give him any amount of money, he would not accept any of that. And Abu Talib therefore told the Prophet ﷺ to do whatever he needs to do, and he will support him until the end.
This shows us that despite all the favors that Abu Talib has done for the Prophet ﷺ and how much his safety also depends on Abu Talib, that didn’t stop him from fighting for the truth. Because loyalty to the truth supersedes the loyalty we owe to those who protect us.
Even among the Sahabah, even though they are loyal to the Prophet ﷺ, even though they received so much favor from him, when the Prophet ﷺ did something that they feel wasn’t fair and just, they would still complain to the Prophet ﷺ, and the Prophet wouldn’t criticize them for that.
Once after the battle of Hunayn, there were many new Muslims from the Quraysh who participated in the battle, and the Prophet ﷺ divided a lot of the war booty to these new Muslims in order to soften their hearts, but on the other hand the Ansar received very less. They were not jealous, but they feel a sense of unjust, some of them said: “When there is war, we are told to come, but when there is war booty, we are nowhere to be found.” Until one of the Ansar Sa’d ibn Ubadah realized that he needs to inform the Prophet ﷺ, so he politely told the Prophet ﷺ about this feeling, because Sa’d himself also felt the same way.
So the Prophet ﷺ gathered all the Ansar and made a private meeting to explain to them. He said: “I give to some people because I fear for their greed and desires, and I don’t give to others because I trust that what Allah has given them in their hearts is more than what I can give them.” And then he asked the Ansar: “O people of Ansar, aren’t you happy? That these people go back with sheep and money, and you go back with the Prophet?” Then the Ansar start to cry until their beards were wet, and they said: “We are pleased with Allah as our Lord, with Islam as our religion, and with Muhammad ﷺ as our Prophet”.
These examples show us that even if the person is beloved to us, and we owe so much favor to the person, there is still a way to politely ask them about things which we don’t find reasonable or just, regardless of how close and dear this person is to us, as Allah says:
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ كُونُوا۟ قَوَّٰمِينَ بِٱلْقِسْطِ شُهَدَآءَ لِلَّهِ وَلَوْ عَلَىٰٓ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَوِ ٱلْوَٰلِدَينِ وَٱلْأَقْرَبِينَ ۚ إِن يَكُنْ غَنِيًّا أَوْ فَقِيرًۭا فَٱللهُ أَوْلَىٰ بِهِمَا ۖ
O believers! Stand firm for justice as witnesses for Allah even if it is against yourselves, your parents, or close relatives. Be they rich or poor, Allah is best to ensure their interests. [4:135]
While we feel embarrassed to correct the person who did us favor, we should feel even more embarrassed to Allah for allowing evil to happen after receiving the endless blessings from Him.
Therefore part of expressing Shukr is to give beneficial Naseehah. To give an honest and sincere feedback is a way to express thankfulness, both to the ones who helped us and to Allah. If we see someone we respect making a mistake, then to blindly justify it or to ignore it is not the way to pay back respect. Even if they would dislike it, we still need to do what needs to be done which we believe are beneficial for them.
May Allah grant us the strength to be grateful to those who help us and to protect our hearts from becoming enslaved by them. May Allah make us among those who fear Him alone, and may Allah give us the courage to stand for the truth. Ameen.
When we try to count the blessings and favors that have led to who we are today, it is impossible to claim that we have earned those benefits by ourselves. While we recognize that all favors are ultimately coming from Allah, we must also appreciate the fact that Allah’s blessings come in different ways, through different mediums, and especially certain people in our lives. Whenever we try to look at our own success, we can’t help but remember certain individuals who played a role in helping us succeed. Maybe someone who gave us opportunities when we were desperate, someone who supported us financially when we needed it, someone who guided us when we were lost. It’s part of our obligation to be thankful to these individuals regardless of where the source of the blessings came from, because our Prophet ﷺ told us in a Hadith:
لاَ يَشْكُرُ اللَّهَ مَنْ لاَ يَشْكُرُ النَّاسَ
“Whoever does not thank people has not thanked Allah.” [Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4811]
However, the problem that most of us fall into, is that we attribute our gratitude to these individuals more than we attribute to Allah. Not that we verbally say more ‘Thank you’ to these people, but we become loyal to them rather than being loyal to Allah. We feel that because these people have done favors to me, now if they have committed a mistake or transgressed against the Shari’ah, it would be very ungrateful of me to point out their mistake and criticize them. Or maybe since I am still receiving those benefits from these people, because my livelihood still depends on their support, if I correct their mistakes, I am afraid they will stop providing me those benefits.
And the mistake here is to believe that these people are the source of those benefits. Rather, it is Allah who’s the One who gave us the favor by using those people as the middle men to send His favors to us. As Allah mentions in the Qur’an:
وَمَا بِكُم مِّن نِّعْمَةٍۢ فَمِنَ ٱللَّهِ ۖ ثُمَّ إِذَا مَسَّكُمُ ٱلضُّرُّ فَإِلَيْهِ تَجْـَٔرُونَ
Whatever blessings you have are from Allah. Then whenever hardship touches you, to Him ˹alone˺ you cry ˹for help˺. [16:53]
When we are afraid that we would lose those benefits for speaking the truth, to worry that my salary depends on them, my food depends on them, my children’s education depends on them, but we forget that the Prophet ﷺ told us in the Hadith, that if the nations gathered together to benefit you, they could not benefit you unless Allah has decreed it for you. And if the nations gathered together to harm you, they could not harm you unless Allah has decreed it for you. [Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2516]
And what better example there is other than our Prophet ﷺ himself, when he was preaching Islam to the people of Quraysh in the early days, he couldn’t have done that in safety if it wasn’t because of the support of his uncle Abu Talib. The Quraysh hated his message so much, they tried to pressure Abu Talib and told him, that either he stops the Prophet ﷺ from preaching, or he should hand him over so that they can deal with him.
Therefore Abu Talib went to the Prophet ﷺ and told him about this offer, and emotionally blackmail the Prophet by asking him, please don’t put me in such a difficult position, give me a break and give yourself a break.
For the Prophet ﷺ, this is a very difficult situation, because his entire safety in Makkah depends on his uncle Abu Talib, and he is just like his own father, he has received countless of support from Abu Talib, and now he is coming to tell him to stop preaching the message of Islam. However, despite knowing the potential consequences of losing everything, the Prophet ﷺ replied with utmost firmness: “If they were to place the sun in my right hand and the moon in my left hand, I would not leave this call to Islam until Allah has given it victory, or I die in the process.”
Even if the Quraysh offer him to become their king, or to give him any amount of money, he would not accept any of that. And Abu Talib therefore told the Prophet ﷺ to do whatever he needs to do, and he will support him until the end.
This shows us that despite all the favors that Abu Talib has done for the Prophet ﷺ and how much his safety also depends on Abu Talib, that didn’t stop him from fighting for the truth. Because loyalty to the truth supersedes the loyalty we owe to those who protect us.
Even among the Sahabah, even though they are loyal to the Prophet ﷺ, even though they received so much favor from him, when the Prophet ﷺ did something that they feel wasn’t fair and just, they would still complain to the Prophet ﷺ, and the Prophet wouldn’t criticize them for that.
Once after the battle of Hunayn, there were many new Muslims from the Quraysh who participated in the battle, and the Prophet ﷺ divided a lot of the war booty to these new Muslims in order to soften their hearts, but on the other hand the Ansar received very less. They were not jealous, but they feel a sense of unjust, some of them said: “When there is war, we are told to come, but when there is war booty, we are nowhere to be found.” Until one of the Ansar Sa’d ibn Ubadah realized that he needs to inform the Prophet ﷺ, so he politely told the Prophet ﷺ about this feeling, because Sa’d himself also felt the same way.
So the Prophet ﷺ gathered all the Ansar and made a private meeting to explain to them. He said: “I give to some people because I fear for their greed and desires, and I don’t give to others because I trust that what Allah has given them in their hearts is more than what I can give them.” And then he asked the Ansar: “O people of Ansar, aren’t you happy? That these people go back with sheep and money, and you go back with the Prophet?” Then the Ansar start to cry until their beards were wet, and they said: “We are pleased with Allah as our Lord, with Islam as our religion, and with Muhammad ﷺ as our Prophet”.
These examples show us that even if the person is beloved to us, and we owe so much favor to the person, there is still a way to politely ask them about things which we don’t find reasonable or just, regardless of how close and dear this person is to us, as Allah says:
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ كُونُوا۟ قَوَّٰمِينَ بِٱلْقِسْطِ شُهَدَآءَ لِلَّهِ وَلَوْ عَلَىٰٓ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَوِ ٱلْوَٰلِدَينِ وَٱلْأَقْرَبِينَ ۚ إِن يَكُنْ غَنِيًّا أَوْ فَقِيرًۭا فَٱللهُ أَوْلَىٰ بِهِمَا ۖ
O believers! Stand firm for justice as witnesses for Allah even if it is against yourselves, your parents, or close relatives. Be they rich or poor, Allah is best to ensure their interests. [4:135]
While we feel embarrassed to correct the person who did us favor, we should feel even more embarrassed to Allah for allowing evil to happen after receiving the endless blessings from Him.
Therefore part of expressing Shukr is to give beneficial Naseehah. To give an honest and sincere feedback is a way to express thankfulness, both to the ones who helped us and to Allah. If we see someone we respect making a mistake, then to blindly justify it or to ignore it is not the way to pay back respect. Even if they would dislike it, we still need to do what needs to be done which we believe are beneficial for them.
May Allah grant us the strength to be grateful to those who help us and to protect our hearts from becoming enslaved by them. May Allah make us among those who fear Him alone, and may Allah give us the courage to stand for the truth. Ameen.